Atoms Exploding

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waking up feeling a way I cant explain. not sure but I am not happy nor am I sad. I just feel a tingly sensation through my whole body. I try to ignore this feeling because all I really want to do is either crawl under my blanket and masturbate for hours and or run butt naked through the streets.

to be honest, I really can’t describe this feeling. I just wake up like this with no explanation on why. I want to be by myself yet I want people around but then I’m annoyed so I creep away and live in my own space.

unknown to everything. I truly don’t know because it seems to be more often than not recently. it is like low key I’m dazed and it feels like I’m in a dream like state but I’m wide awake. I think? sometimes I want to just live out my emotions but then I know I would be thrown in the crazy house.

not sure if this is an extreme high but it feels so good that it feels so bad all in the same moment. I can’t explain it even though I try and it still doesn’t give it justice. I just know one of these day, I’m going to break free from these mental chains and literally let loose.

however, one pill a day keeps my crazy away so they say, and I am just left with these feelings that aren’t fulfilling creating such a void, like I said, it is pretty hard to explain.

ever have dazed eyes from coming down from a high after smoking a blunt, take that and add taking three shoots of coffee. that feeling is the best way I can try to explain it. stillness but I want to move.

trapped low key within my own mind, trying to stay sane within the elements of how society portrays I should be. I guess I’m on a true natural high. and coming down really brings me down, as if I jumped into a pool of deep depression.

just going back and fourth every day, sometimes I feel this high for weeks and trying to contain everything is exhausting. so I sit with a tingling body trying to contain all the energy my body is creating. feeling like every atom within me is bouncing outta control.

however, I need to maintain and stay still.

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