So. what are you suppose to do when you have so many emotions running through your head. Filling spaces that you want empty. Filling them with so much anxiety. Depression are you giving my door bell a ring? Knocking ever so lightly. Creeping up in the midst of all these hurt feelings….not sure if this is it. Keeping busy only to keep memories off my brain. High off the thought of you and I. Coming down is where I find myself each and every time with migraines of why and what ifs. But I have my anxiety of whose between your sheets and depression following with how can anyone else love me? Swallowed in currents of my misery. I’m content with thinking of what it could be. Day dreaming with thoughts of love and lust. Keeping my chest from exploding by trying to breathe deep. Trying not to fall into the black hole that seems to be never ending. My secret abyss. No hands around to wave me down and walk with me. Sooo I’ll sit here, in my own thoughts trying to battle and keep the negative images out my membrane. Clutching to the thought that this is just a dream. A beautiful nightmare I am having at four in the morning.
Four in the Mornin
Tags: anxiety, Blogging, depression, Emotions, Feelings, hurt, LGBT, life, mental health, Muse, Nightmares, Pain, Poetry, reality, Relationships