I don’t like being in the dark. So I say.
But the dark seems to be the only place I truly can scrutinize myself. Flaws and all.
I find peace not being able to recognize what’s in front of me. Unaccompanied and in my personal space.
I am challenged by the voices in my head. Pushing me to the edge of going insane.
I breathe knowing that the monster inside resides and is at peace in the shadows of my own misery.
Distracting me so I am at a standstill. No progression and my dreams that turned into my goals are no longer being achieved.
Focused on the scars that lie on top of my heart. The invisible wounds that lay open within my membrane causing my mental to embark on the crazy train.
Can’t put a name on it, but this isn’t what depression feels like. Or is it and I just refuse to call it.
Fighting to see light but at the same time I am not. Being so comfortable alone within my darkness allowing it to consume me.
I don’t wanna be saved.